How do you unload leftover books when they were published more than 3 years ago?

By , October 8, 2013 3:47 pm

I was going to try something for U-tube. I wrote a speedy, ropey rap, hoping that the visual humour – books dropping on my head/me in a cycle helmet trying to talk and gesture to the beat – would win over lack of eloquence. I just could NOT do it. I was paralysed – well that’s exactly how it felt, so I could almost justify the misuse of ‘literally’. I was LITERALLY PARALYSED.


Here’s the rap. I don’t like to waste anything I write. A very, very bad idea for a writer I know.



                   Someone prints your book

                   You sell a good few copies

                    But the world hasn’t shook

                  You’re left with some dead bodies


                    The book’s about human sheep

And a leader who’s a gross man

The spares are going cheap!

                    Just enough to pay the postman.


There’s more than 32

                    Paperbacks excessive

                     I’ll send one to you 

                    You’ll find it quite impressive.      

 (At the beginning of this verse a few more books have fallen, the box of 32 having been dropped at the beginning. You may have noticed the standard of rapping has dropped by this verse.)


A church becomes a cult

                    It’s packed full of suspense

                    You c’n see the result

                    For two hundred and sixty pence.

(The standard continues to drop. This verse will not scan without some surprising syllables being accented) 


I started to type the last two verses but they’re too terrible to expose to the internet (or the zero people who will look at this page)



































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