Leaving a bed

By , January 19, 2013 4:29 pm

Recently Y explained to me why X must be happy with her celibate marriage – sex and loving gestures equally dead. After all, I was told, X had been the one to leave the shared bed for separate rooms. X’s affair with the builder a few years ago notwithstanding, everything was fine. ¬†She wanted things to be the way they were.

The one who leaves the bed is likely to be the one who does not like the status quo. The one who stays finds the cool relations comfortable. The one who leaves has been aware of the person next to him/her avoiding touch, and possibly other forms of intimacy. The other one is content enough to share the room and leave it at that.

A celibate marriage is acceptable if that’s what both partners want. Y reckons her parents were blissfully happy with their celibate marriage – after they’d had their two children. Who knows? We rarely have much idea what is going on below the surface of a relationship that isn’t our own. Is the public kiss or hug that we see the tip of an iceberg of love and warm actions, or is it the surface of an ice floe? It might be all that there is. We don’t know.

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